People have always asked me how it came to be that I get along so well with my daughters. And this is especially true since we founded our company Pinks & Blues and we work together every day because we are just so excited and enthused and happy to do so with each other.
Well, back to our relationships… and the reasons why it all works so well. I truly have given this a great deal of thought, because since the beginning of their lives I have had such love and awe and respect for my “girls” while many moms were having such difficulties with their daughters.
So I’ve devised a list of lessons I’ve learned about getting along with your daughters. Here it is (click on the link to get each full “rule”):
10 QUICK RULES FOR RAISING DAUGHTERS WHO WANT YOU IN THEIR LIVES AS KIDS, TEENAGERS and ADULTS
Rule #1: Never criticize “the boyfriend”
Rule #2: Never diminish a broken heart
Rule #3: Do not show up at Parents’ Night in slippers
Rule #4: Get your daughter familiar with the three important words – honest, honesty and honestly
Rule #4.5: Don’t trust daddies to be objective when it comes to their daughters
Rule #5: Daughters and their dogs – not just puppy love
Rule #6: Teach your daughter proper manners
Rule #7: Teach your daughters that sports are a good thing
Rule #8: Humor is everything
Rules #9 and #10 Coming Soon!
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I love these. I’m the mother of three daughters and we get along great right now! We just entered the teen age years and I truly want to maintain this great relationship.
Thank you! I enjoy this so much I’d make a link t this on my blog. I’ll let you know when it’s up.
Liza
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[…] in email. I will gather them all and make a collage or video out of them.Another Great read I found. 10 Quick Rules for Raising Daughters (popup) | […]
wow, such great advice!! I will certainly remember these.
I bought my daughter this great fairy tale,Princess Bubble, because I want her to be happy with or without a prince. In fact, I need togive that book to some of my own friends going through a divorce.
My daughter is nearly 10 (aacckk! which means that I am 10 years older than I was when I birthed her…panic…botox..lipo..what should I do…) and I am a stickler for rules. For my kids (daughter + 2 younger sons), for my husband, and for myself. This is great to get a Mom’s perspective, especially for the forthcoming teen years. I’ll will take all the help I can get!
There is so much universal truth in these rules – I am a mother to 2 baby boys but I just sent these rules over to my Mother so we could have a “moment” about them. Though for my Mom I would add
#9 Never read your daughter’s journal
Thanks
These are great!
I have four girls and I love hearing good things about bringing up daughters. It seems like all I ever hear is, “Whoa, I’d hate to be in your house in a few more years!”
These are such great tips for raising little Olivia! I love the “don’t wear slippers” one. Great advice!
Oh I love this…I’m going to share it with my husband!
I don’t know how I came across this page, but whem I did I was instantly consumed by the rules. I’m 28 and pregnant with my first child (hoping for a girl xo) and am excited to teach her the 10 Lessons. I wish I had been better trained when I was young. Just like my Neices and little sisters, all little girls need to be trained in “how to act in Public” in any circustance!
Thnaks for the laughs and the information, I loved it all
Natalie
This rule is a bit scary. “Never diminish a broken heart.” Children don’t come with a book of instructions and parents’ do make mistakes. Coaching and parenting is tough. Being part of a child’s life is also tough, but if you really want to be there, then you should be able to be somewhat empathetic. I think that is what you are trying to say, and that is “put your self in your kid’s shoes.” Those of us in our late 30’s and early 40’s probably were parented by a generation that did not understand empathy, but they certainly understood sympathy.
Availing options or talking about a promising future, especially when your daughter’s heart is breaking, is an important step; moreover, it is the first instinct any parent can reach for in the same situation. Why are you telling people not to stand by their children and let them know there are other opportunities or “fish in the sea.” That is not diminishing at all. It is the reality of life.
Your rules should be tempered. I want my daughter, especially when her heart is breaking, to know that the hurt will end. Recalling the mistakes that were once made seems to be “rubbing their noses” into the “mess.” My oldest daughter got her heart broken many times. Never once did I not remind her that the “the light at the end of the tunnel was not an on coming train.” Be real. They will hurt, but they need to know the sun will rise. Hurt and pain are part of taking risk. Not once did I hear you talk about reality. This site continues to burp up this glorious stuff, and yet you spent so much time to build it. Did you do so to show how perfect you are and now you can help others. You never had a night you could not sleep when your daughter was out in the care of someone you “embraced?” You never had to simply say, I know it hurts, but you do have to get back up and find a way to make it better?
Everyone wants to hear your success, and believe me, having my first finishing her MA at the University of Florida, and my middle one right behind her (oh, and both have great boy friends now), and my youngest now at that stage. . . Please, please, please open your stories and preface your rules with all of the mistakes. You are making it sound like Mary Poppins. . . Parenting is a tough business. . .and yes it is a business (especially with all of the business opportunities on your web site). Parenting requires an openness and more than this Honest, Honesty, and Honestly jargon.
[…] We are truly blessed and so pleased about how it all has turned out. We have three great daughters that are best friends/sisters and now a lovely, lovely […]
I have 2 Little Girls, a 10 Month & a 2 Year Old, & they are the best 🙂
Brought back wonderful memories! Thank you.
I enjoyed reading your blog. I have 4 girls ages 12, 10, 8, and 6. I am starting a blog of my own to share my “wisdom” and to learn from others. It seems that children sometimes show parents their worse side. I guess this is because they know we love them most.
It’s funny you mention that sports are a good thing. So many women don’t like their husbands to watch sports, and i love that my wife is as into sports as I am. If I forget to turn the big game on I get in trouble.
It can be such a pain point in a daughter’s future marriage, why not do what you can to eliminate the possibility of it happening all together.
On another note…
I also wanted to offer you a copy of an interview I just did with Staci Eldredge who wrote, “Captivating” for you to repost on your website for your readers who are interested in how to raise daughters.
It’s a book about how daughters should be raised differently then sons. (which was very interesting to me as a father of a young daughter)
I currently have the interview here: http://www.betterparenting.com/captivating-an-interview-w-staci-eldredge/
But I’d be happy to send you the code so you could host it on your own website.
Let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in.
Mac
My mom broke every rule here except the slippers one. No wonder my teen years were so memorable!
Let me begin by thanking you for your thoughts, both of which make some good points and adds a worthwhile dimension to the discussion.babykleding meisjes
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Great tips. My mother was very black and white where as my dad was the softy. I remember when I split up with my real first boyfriend. I was crying and she pretty much said GET OVER IT. I have never been so angry in my life. Now as an adult I know she wasn’t really being mean but just giving me some tough love. Thanks for posting these tips look forward to tip 9 and 10.