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Archive for May 3rd, 2007

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This is the third installment of my 10 QUICK RULES FOR RAISING DAUGHTERS WHO WANT YOU IN THEIR LIVES AS KIDS, TEENAGERS and ADULTS. I began with Rule #1: Never criticize “the boyfriend.” Next came Rule #2: Never diminish a broken heart.

Here is the next rule in the series.

RULE #3 – DO NOT SHOW UP AT PARENTS’ NIGHT IN SLIPPERS

…Or embarrass your daughter in any preventable manner.

Period.

I could stop here, but some Moms need specifics in the ever-eye-rolling, face-cringing world of daughters when comfronted with embarrassment. So, here goes:

a. Please do not show up at Parents’ Night at her school in slippers, or in any attire that is not school-worthy. This includes anything from a Victoria’s Secret cleavage-enhancer to Sponge Bob Square Pants t-shirts. These will do nothing what-so-ever to enhance your daughter’s educational experience.

b. When your daughter’s new party dress is covered with chocolate ice cream and ketchup, please do not tell the hostess, “Well, I can’t take her anywhere.” We all spill, drip, drop, and even drool on occasion. Instead, tell your daughter that it seems like she had a really good time.

c. Please do not label your daughter as “the artist” or “the athlete” or “the dancer,” etc. This labeling confuses, annoys, restricts, and often times prevents any growth or experimentation in other endeavors. Audrey was not a cross country runner. Jane was. Audrey figured that out on her own! Jane was not a Junior National swimmer. Audrey was. Enough said.

d. And do not tell everyone just how “brilliant” your daughter is and that she is going to go to Harvard (especially true of kindergarteners) – unless she has already been accepted. People will remember your prediction long after she has decided to run off and join the circus. And if she LOVES the circus, be happy for her wonderful life choice.

e. When people tell you that you look like a sister to your daughter, smile politely and say something like, “You are too kind.” You know and your daughter knows that even though you may look good, you do not look like her sister. Your daughter will be proud and happy that you take care of yourself, but she wants her Mom to be Mom.

f. Adding to “e”… do not tell everyone you know that the guy at the meat counter at the supermarket thinks you look like your daughter’s sister. Let your daughter be the young, pretty, vivacious coming-of-age girl she deserves to be. If you feel you did not have that opportunity as a child or teenager, that’s for you and your therapist to work on!

These little tidbits are “starters” in the multiple ways that Moms may embarrass daughters. I know. I have seen all of these done over and over again, and I want to roll my eyes and cringe right along with the daughter.

So… please do not wear slippers to Parents’ Night!

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The Pinks & Blues Girls are featured in a wonderful article on Mother-Daughter teams on the website Women Can Do Anything!

Read the article, written by Jessica Moritz, HERE!

Women Can Do Anything is an online resource provinging inspiration to women in business. They feature stories of business women and also business articles.

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