This is the third installment of my 10 QUICK RULES FOR RAISING DAUGHTERS WHO WANT YOU IN THEIR LIVES AS KIDS, TEENAGERS and ADULTS. I began with Rule #1: Never criticize “the boyfriend.” Next came Rule #2: Never diminish a broken heart.
Here is the next rule in the series.
RULE #3 – DO NOT SHOW UP AT PARENTS’ NIGHT IN SLIPPERS
…Or embarrass your daughter in any preventable manner.
Period.
I could stop here, but some Moms need specifics in the ever-eye-rolling, face-cringing world of daughters when comfronted with embarrassment. So, here goes:
a. Please do not show up at Parents’ Night at her school in slippers, or in any attire that is not school-worthy. This includes anything from a Victoria’s Secret cleavage-enhancer to Sponge Bob Square Pants t-shirts. These will do nothing what-so-ever to enhance your daughter’s educational experience.
b. When your daughter’s new party dress is covered with chocolate ice cream and ketchup, please do not tell the hostess, “Well, I can’t take her anywhere.” We all spill, drip, drop, and even drool on occasion. Instead, tell your daughter that it seems like she had a really good time.
c. Please do not label your daughter as “the artist” or “the athlete” or “the dancer,” etc. This labeling confuses, annoys, restricts, and often times prevents any growth or experimentation in other endeavors. Audrey was not a cross country runner. Jane was. Audrey figured that out on her own! Jane was not a Junior National swimmer. Audrey was. Enough said.
d. And do not tell everyone just how “brilliant” your daughter is and that she is going to go to Harvard (especially true of kindergarteners) – unless she has already been accepted. People will remember your prediction long after she has decided to run off and join the circus. And if she LOVES the circus, be happy for her wonderful life choice.
e. When people tell you that you look like a sister to your daughter, smile politely and say something like, “You are too kind.” You know and your daughter knows that even though you may look good, you do not look like her sister. Your daughter will be proud and happy that you take care of yourself, but she wants her Mom to be Mom.
f. Adding to “e”… do not tell everyone you know that the guy at the meat counter at the supermarket thinks you look like your daughter’s sister. Let your daughter be the young, pretty, vivacious coming-of-age girl she deserves to be. If you feel you did not have that opportunity as a child or teenager, that’s for you and your therapist to work on!
These little tidbits are “starters” in the multiple ways that Moms may embarrass daughters. I know. I have seen all of these done over and over again, and I want to roll my eyes and cringe right along with the daughter.
So… please do not wear slippers to Parents’ Night!
This stuff is gold! (scribbling notes down)…
You know, I taught high school for 30 years, and had more than one parent show up at Parents’ Night in slippers – and more than I’d like to recount – straight from the bar!!
How about my curlers to her playgroup? Too bad she’s not quite old enough to be embarrassed of me yet. 🙂
Haha! Priceless! Loved every bit of it! 🙂
I’ll have to remember this, as my 10 year old gets bigger. Right now I’m still cool in her eyes. But I probably shouldn’t have blabbed to the whole blogging world that she’s started shaving huh? heehee
LOL! Brilliant stuff! I can’t wait for the rest of the installments!
Great advice. How cool to have such a great relationship with your daughters. I love my daughter and parenting adult children is so different than when she was younger. Now it’s more I love you…if you want my advice I’m sure you’ll ask…otherwise I love you.
What a beautiful Mother you are. Your list is funny, but truly, very insightful. I’d be proud to have you as a Mom — although that’s definitely not possible!!
is there a list for dads of daughters?
– Jon
– Daddy Detective
– http://www.daddydetective.com
Thanks for the laugh today! This was great!
Hey you can not even begin to imagine how many moms I’ve had show up to Parent Teacher conferences with Bunny slippers on.
Haha!!! LOVE it.
I’m loving your entire blog, by the way.
“Or embarrass your daughter in any preventable manner.”
I was kind of looking forward to this. Can I keep the pictures of her on the toilet to show at her wedding?
Lol, can’t wait for the next advice column! 🙂
I joke about ways to embarass my kids, but as my oldest is just a month from becoming a teenager, I know how important it is to follow all of these rules!
Thanks for this. As a mom to two little girls who will be one year apart in school, this is helpful. I have lots of time before they’re teenagers, but I’ll need to be prepared.
that’s awesome. i totally believe these also!
but we’re islanders. we wear (appropriate) slippers everywhere! We own 2 pairs of shoes each for the rainy, puddly months 😉