Happy Birthday Benjamin!
At 7:01am last April 4th, our lives changed forever because you entered our world!
For 38 1/2 weeks (you were 8 days early!) I referred to you as “to-be.” All of my journal entries throughout my pregnancy call you that… even when we knew you were a Benjamin Barry David.
My “to-be.” My miracle.
I had had a miscarriage a few months before I found out I was pregnant with you. The miscarriage left me feeling very sad and very empty. The only thing that got me through March, April, May, June and July of 2006 were the very thoughts of “you.” It was what kept me going each month as Daddy and I tried to get pregnant with you.
And then, on August 6th, 2006… the most blessed news of all came to me through 2 PINK LINES! I was pregnant!
And through the months of my pregnancy I talked to you and danced with you and sang to you (I know, I have no singing voice!). Your brothers kissed my belly. Daddy felt you move. And it was wonderful!
And on April 4th, 2007… you decided it was time to meet us all. And there you were. My beautiful Benjamin. And the world was as it should be… because you finally were here.
My “to-be”… my Benjamin.
I will never forget what William told me about 6 months ago when we were driving by our local church… I know you don’t remember this, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant with you, I started a Novena to St. Jude. And every night we would all pile in the car, drive to church and leave a prayer for you.
In October we all went walking down to the church… and you know what William said? He said to me, “Oh Mommy, this is where we used to drop off your prayers.” To which I replied “yes!” And then he said, “Because you were asking for Benjamin to come back to us.”
My heart soared. Yes, my Benjamin. My miracle that was-to-be… you were the answer to so many, many prayers.
And everyday when I see you… those beautiful blue eyes, that gorgeous blonde hair and that HUGE smile, my heart continues to soar.
You have enhanced this last year leaps and bounds for our family. And who would have thought you would becoming a BIG BROTHER so soon?
As I tell your brothers every night, “I love you lifetimes. I love you a million. And I love you the whole wide world.”
Thank you for being.