Archive for June 3rd, 2008

Swish, Sweep & Grin

I still remember the day that Audrey and Jane got back into my car after picking up a couple of hot dogs at our local hot weiner joint… and Jane said, “Grin gave us two extra ones.”

Without batting an eye, Audrey added, “Grin knows you love the ones with extra onions.”

OK. Two extras were good. I guess.

I do love extra onions.

But… who (or what) was Grin?

Grin? Oh, he was the guy who didn’t talk much. But he always had a great big smile.

When I finally realized that Jane and Audrey had nicknamed this hot weiner worker based on his, well… GRIN, I couldn’t help laughing out loud.

There was no malice. No libel. Nothing disparaging or malevolent.

It was simply an observation.

Of course, I had to explain that although it was true that the nice man did GRIN, it certainly would not be necessary to call him that outside of our car. Or home. And certainly not at the hot weiner joint.

But my initial laughter at the appointed nickname did create an avalanche of sorts that did not stop at Grin, and that has continued to this day.

We’ve had Swish… the ever-efficient woman at the Dunkin’ Donuts counter who opened bags in such swift swish motions that she became known to us simply as “Swish.”

The frazzled lady at the ice cream shop who self-admittedly one day said (to Audrey and Jane) that she was a train wreck. OK. She became “Trainwreck” from then on.

Or the guy who meticulously swept his bagel shop around customers as they dropped anything… even morsels. How could they resist the name “Sweep?”

And how could I forget Shift. “Shift” worked at our neighborhood pharmacy… and I cannot recall her EVER not being there. On the job. Covering her never-ending Shift.

Then a kind-of really gross one. Shell Toes was the older (well, he was probably the age I am now) boyfriend of our next-door-neighbor. He had crusty, yellow, clam-like toenails, and he ALWAYS wore sandals. The nomiker “Shell Toes” was downright kind!

And due to that pesky little thing called genetics, this nickname thing has found its way to Audrey’s little guys. Yes, it happened today.

It was William’s last day of pre-school, and Audrey told him that he could pick out a special toy from Toys “R” Us to celebrate his wonderful first year. Once inside, William looked wide-eyed at all his choices, and finally settled on a Star Wars Light Saber. There was one left with a torn box, so William’s solution was to ask Fingers for one with a good box.


Seems that William had seen one of the stock-persons stocking the shelves.

And yes. He had the longest fingers that we had ever seen.

Oh, boy. History does repeat itself!

– Sharon


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